Sunday, June 29, 2008

That Guy's a Hessian. A What? A Hessian.

What a WEEKEND!

I went to Omaha this weekend for my 15 year class reunion. It was so weird seeing so many people after so long. Before I get into that, I should mention that when I got into Omaha on Friday there was a CRAZY storm. One of the worst in many many years. No tornado, but winds reaching 80mph. (Sounds like Kersten while she's pregnant). There were trees down everywhere including our neighbor across the street whose giant tree fell and blocked the side street until this morning when the city came to clean it up. 130,000 people were without power, and many won't get it back until later this week. We luckily never lost power. Yea for North O! All the fancy people in West Omaha got their houses pelted with hail and their roofs blown off. Wah wah.

Back to the reunion. I should start of by saying that I went to a small school called Roncalli High School. I graduated with only something like 84 people. Unlike many people, I LOVED high school, so I was looking forward to it. I was not disappointed. I saw many people that I haven't seen since graduation and had an awesome time catching up. My friend Melanie was there who I've been friends with since kindergarten. We still keep in touch but rarely see each other, so that was great. We played skeeball.





I ended up winning 804 game tickets. What does that buy you ask? What else? Chinese finger cuffs and a pepper mill.

I was especially happy to see my friend Matt Bohnenkamp (aka...Boner) who I used to do shows with in school. I thought he had fallen off the face of the earth. As it turns out, he's been working to save the earth, living in central Nebraska with his wife and son working with the Natural Resources District there. Something about water conservation or something. I didn't quite understand, but he seems happy and passionate about the environment which is amazing. It was just nice catching up with him after so long. Funny as ever.

I also saw my friend Sarah who I haven't seen in many years.



She works for the police department in Omaha. She's pregnant with her third child and looked amazing considering she's ready to pop any minute. (Note to self....say prayer of thanks that I have no children) She seemed happy and all that which is awesome.

Most surprisingly, was my old friend named Suzi Bolamperti.



She was the first girl I ever had a crush on. Ah...young love. We went to grade school together and then she went to a different high school. Through a weird turn of events, she ended up marrying a really nice guy I went to high school with named Bob. Anyway...I ended up talking with her for probably 2 hours or so. She's looks EXACTLY the same as she did in junior high when I last saw her at our graduation party in her parent's driveway. It was AWESOME. I remember slow dancing to Billy Joel. Though true love was not in the cards for us (clearly), she seems to be having a very happy life with Bob and her three kids. She's recently started a new career and I wish her tons of success. We laughed about creepy teachers with bad breath and stupid things that happened. It was GREAT seeing her.

I come now, to this blog's title. At the reunion, I brought up a subject has been bothering me for many years now. The word "Hessian". Historically, Hessians were "soldiers from the former principality of Hesse Kassel (now in modern Germany) who fought in the American Revolutionary War and other conflicts". When I was in high school from 1989-1993, the term Hessian was used to refer to a particular group of people. While I won't name names (you know who you are), Hessians can most characteristically be described as high school kids who smoke and wear a lot of black and listen to heavy metal. How that word came to describe these people, I do not know. I have used this term RARELY since I left high school, but I have discovered something interesting. I have come to believe that this word is very specifically used in Omaha, Nebraska and nowhere else. I have lived all over the country and visited many parts of the world, but whenever I use this term to describe this type of person, I am always met with puzzled looks. I always end up having to explain myself, which makes my witty comments about Hessians, generally unfunny. I tried to find a picture of a Hessian or group of Hessians to show you, but the closest I could find was this still image from the seventh season of Full House when Stephanie Tanner tried smoking in the bathroom. It is NOT an accurate depiction of Hessians, but I feel it is an important moment from a television drama indicative of the era to which I am referring.



Anyway...I urge anyone who has heard or used this term to please contact me so I can find out if this term is used anywhere else. On Wikipedia, the very last definition of a Hessian is a "subculture term for a marijuana user who is also a fan of heavy metal". So...I'm not entirely insane, but on Wikipedia, this definition is very much NOT varified. Just thought I'd put that out there.

I would like to take this opportunity to announce a new addition to my family. Please welcome to the stage.....BOBBY 2.




Since my show finished, I've been spending a lot more time at home, so I thought I would get a new pet. Since I never know when I may be leaving the country at a moment's notice, I decided to get one that is flushable, should I need to make a quick escape. Since gerbils and kittens put up such a fight, causing me to get out the plunger, I decided to go with a Beta fish. I had aquariums when I was a kid. As an adult, I have developed an unusual aversion to fish. Not so much fish, but more particularly...aquariums. I can't eat in a restaurant in which I can see fish swimming. It's one of those charming things about me. But I've recently found the thought of a fish theraputic. And, it matches my livingroom. He is named Bobby 2 in memory of my friend Kersten's beta named Bobby. He lived to be almost 97 years old. That is, of course, in fish years. I wish the same for Bobby 2. There's a 14 day refund policy, though, in case he doesn't. I saved my receipt.

Well...that's about it for me. No...I didn't finish the bathroom. Stop asking me.

4 comments:

TKB said...

Man, you look way younger than everybody else. And I'm not just saying that to kiss your ass.

Bobby 2 is cute. Put him on your kitchen table and maybe you'll lose 10 pounds.

Kersten said...

Is your attic done yet?

Unknown said...

Roncalli class of mighty 90 here. Love this article. I have traveled extensively as well. I am also convinced we are the only city that used hessian.

Unknown said...

Just had this conversation today at lunch. My friend and I, from Omaha, use the word Hessian exactly as described. He's from Norfolk, NE and it is not used there. Strictly Omaha baby!